And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
