I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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