I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
