there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
