Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
