I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
