Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
