Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
where does the pee come out of this thing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
