You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
