just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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