They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
