I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
