I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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