Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
