Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
