Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
