I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
