I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
