this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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