the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
