I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
