he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I believe in your delicious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
