I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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