This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My vagina just clenched in fear
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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