Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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