I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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