Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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