Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
