Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No more Irish car bombs ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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