Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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