She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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