oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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