was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
