He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry my hands just texted you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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