when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
