i just google imaged poop.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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