you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
