when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
