Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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