I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
