Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
