We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
