i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
