woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
