I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize