i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize