do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
