But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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