A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
