I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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