Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize