all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
