saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize