I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
