i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
