First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
