He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize