You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
