weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
