Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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