The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
