I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Randomize
