Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I will be naked everywhere
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
