Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
