It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got inside last night via doggy door
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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