How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
