But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
