I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize