Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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