He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Im part way to drunk.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize