I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize