2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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