glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
