new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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