Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize