What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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